Let me start off by saying that when you work in small business, delivery people are one of your biggest assets and should not be taken for granted. Our business would fall apart if they stopped showing up. I will make it clear right here and now that I truly, truly appreciate the work they do and I would not want their job. That being said I have to share with you a few of the many quirks and idiosyncrasies that some of our delivery personnel (past and present) have had. You just can’t make this stuff up folks…
We have daily FedEx, UPS, and Postal service pickups and drop offs here at our warehouse. The regular drivers know the routine; come to the warehouse door, ring the bell if it’s not open and we will be right there. The substitute drivers insist on coming inside the office. They only make this mistake once. You see, the boss’ dog doesn’t take kindly to new faces, especially those in uniforms, and will bark the most ferocious bark you have ever heard to keep anyone he doesn’t know away from the office. Yeah, like I said the subs only come inside one time.
Speaking of subs – the Postal Service subs are a favorite of mine. We set up our regular daily pickups 3 months in advance and when you do this you have to tell them how many packages you will have. While I like to pride myself on my planning skills, there is no way on February 10th I will know exactly how many boxes we will have for the Post Office on Thursday, April 12th – so we give them an estimate. Let’s say 15. Well if on April 12th, a substitute driver shows up and we have 6 packages he points out that according to his paperwork we should have 15. When we have 36 packages he points out that we should have 15. I have tried to explain to many drivers the word ‘estimate’. I have given up.
We have worked very, very hard to build a rapport with our current Postal Carrier, I’ll call him Jim. Jim was a tough nut to crack. Because his normal pickup time for us, 10:30AM, is really just too early to get all our packages out, we asked him about swinging by at the end of his route to pick up our mail. He declared “No way, I don’t like to make left turns!” Based on his reaction, you would have thought I had asked for his firstborn! I know that UPS has a no left turn policy in place to save gas and energy but have never heard a postal worker say this. I wouldn’t want to change his route or anything, I just thought since he was willing to bring our empty bins by at that time why not make the pickup then too. Nope, no way, not happening, so 10:30AM it is.
Despite this, I have grown fond of Jim’s sometimes grumpy demeanor. He does try on most days to give me a smile or wish me a good weekend, but there are days I just see us slipping backwards. Why, just the other day he got out of his truck and at the sight of the 10 large boxes and 3 mail bins, could be heard griping “And my day just gets better and better!” I thought maybe this was a compliment since we are so happy with his service that we like to ship almost all of our products US Mail, but no, this was just him blowing off steam. I can understand it can be frustrating and may seem like an endless amount of packages but, um, that is your job, right?
Dear Postal Carriers,
I love you for delivering my mail and not throwing it in the bushes or feeding it to a dog and maybe it is inconvenient but I would like all my packages picked up too so that all the postal carriers can keep their jobs.
Lest you think I only have quirky postal carriers, let me briefly touch on the FedEx drivers. Our current driver is very very sweet but his attention to detail is severely lacking. Please note that he comes here every day. He asked me for my last name when I signed for packages for 3 straight months. I thought he would at least start saying “It starts with an “M”, right?” but no, he never learned it or really even tried. So one day I decided to give him the name “Jones” when he asked. He didn’t even blink, or ask if I had gotten married over the weekend. The next day I said “Jones” again, no reaction just typed it in. Day 3 I signed and he said “Jones, right?” Ding, Ding, Ding…we have a winner! I am now Mrs. Jones around the office!
Please try and remember that we all need each other to thrive in this world, no man is an island, what goes around comes around and all that other good mumbo jumbo. But also remember that when I am expecting a package and I can see it on your truck, don’t tell me you don’t have it or I will climb in there! (Which I have done.)